


all the days i owe you

by icantdowithoutyou (asofterkit)



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24686857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asofterkit/pseuds/icantdowithoutyou
Summary: Set the morning after Callum and Ben’s night drive in Chapter 5 of iwjtstn (19.10.2019). Callum and Ben spend the morning together and then Callum heads home to put something in place ahead of their date at The Albert.A oneshot accompaniment to i was just trying to survive the night - please read that first! (You don’t need to read this to keep following iwjttstn.)
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	all the days i owe you

_ **Saturday, 19th October 2019** _

Callum’s used to waking up early, a habit he can’t shake, but when he’s in Ben’s arms he sleeps until the sun starts streaming through his half open curtains. It’s a Saturday and he doesn’t have to be anywhere but here, and here is so wonderful that he can’t believe it’s real. He and Ben haven’t moved all night, Callum’s arm is still draped over his waist and their legs are intertwined and it feels like heaven, like his entire body is made of stardust from the night before. 

He trails his knuckle along Ben’s side and he moans sweetly in his sleep. Callum knows now how he loves a tender touch. Last night, they sat on the back seat of a borrowed car in each other’s arms and it felt like home, it felt like they were exactly where they were meant to be. His back aches slightly, if he’s ever going to bend himself in half in the footwell of a car again he'll definitely stretch first, but it was not a lesson learned the hard way.

He strokes Ben’s side and brushes his fingers over his stomach and his chest and Ben sighs and wriggles closer to him, as if they could be any closer than they already are. It has to mean something, doesn’t it, that Ben wants to be this close to him, that he seemed to want Callum to sleep over even though it’s a crush in his single bed. His doubts are loudest in the morning before he’s awake enough to chase them away. It may have only been a few weeks but he's happy, really truly happy and he won't let anything spoil that feeling if he can help it.

When his eyes are fully adjusted to the light he takes Ben in, his freckles, how soft he looks curled up on his side. He kisses his ear and the stubble on his jaw and draws his fingers around his belly button. 

The first time Callum saw him, he noticed his swagger first, that East London walk of his that suggested he wasn't a man who'd take shit from anyone, that he was sure of himself. His jacket sat heavy on his broad shoulders, his collar popped against his neck as he jutted his chin, ready to glare at anyone who met his eye. He was all power and ferocity, looked like he knew how to throw a punch and how to take one and despite what Callum believes about the power of the soft fight, he couldn't get the man out of his head. Maybe part of him knew then what he has discovered since, that Ben has learnt those things but they're not who he is, not really. 

Ben stirs in his sleep under Callum's touch and he doesn't want to wake him up, not in principle anyway, but he misses him and if he should happen to wake up of his own accord then maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. He traces Ben's lips with his thumb, his perfect pink lips and Ben sighs softly.

He slips his hand down Ben's chest and his stomach and along his thigh. He can't get enough of him, he understands that Ben is busy, that they can't have this every morning but he hasn't slept deeply on his own ever since the first time he woke up in Ben's arms. He presses into the wall to make enough space to stroke Ben's back and he shudders. 

"Callum…"

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake ya."

"Mm… it's ok."

Callum grabs Ben and pulls him as close as he can, enveloping him in his arms. "Good morning," he whispers into his ear. 

"I'm glad you stayed."

Callum's heart leaps. "Me too." 

Ben turns to him over his shoulder and smiles then carefully shuffles round to face Callum without falling off the side of the bed. They tangle together, arms and legs, and Ben nestles against Callum's chest. 

Ben tilts his face and Callum finds his mouth and they kiss lazily, there's something about the sound of their kisses being the only sound in the room that sends tingles up and down Callum's spine. He's kissing Ben Mitchell and he can kiss him as much as he wants and touch him and hold him and it makes him feel brand new.

"What're you smiling about?" Ben mumbles into Callum's mouth then kisses him again, not waiting for the answer. 

"Us." Callum breathes. 

Callum slides his hand down Ben's back and draws shapes against his skin. 

"Babe, if you keep doing that…"

"Do you wanna?”

Ben nods and Callum slips his hand down to his arse and pulls him in until they slot together, Callum's leg heavy over Ben's hips. Ben gives himself over completely, he melts into Callum and nuzzles his nose into his neck to breathe him in deeply. It’s a giddy, heady feeling when Ben does this, when he presses the flat of his hand against the small of Callum’s back, so sure and so firm, like at least when they’re alone and quiet like this, he knows what he wants and it’s them.

Callum rolls his body and the friction of his half hard dick against Ben’s spreads warmth through his stomach. He likes this, he wants more, he does (it’s all he can think about, actually), but not at the expense of this; searching for pleasure in the press of their bodies. It’s beautiful, like something is blooming between them bright and sweet with every touch. 

Ben touches him everywhere he can reach and Callum hugs him close. The heat between them makes Callum feel like his whole body is burning as he shifts and twists to find the friction, bursts of pleasure punctuate the lazy slip of skin on skin. They grab at each other, gasp and sigh and hold until Callum needs more. 

He pushes Ben half on his back leaving him to cling onto his shoulders to stay on the bed and reaches between them to fist their dicks together. He presses his damp forehead against Ben's and his hands move from Callum's shoulders to the back of his neck, like he's trying to hold on and drag him down all at once. Callum loves his strong hands on him, loves the way he smells, loves the way he grunts and growls. 

Callum moves his hand faster and faster, he feels like he's just on the edge and his whole body is on fire. Ben finds his nipple and twists and Callum comes hard, hard enough that he sees lights behind his eyes, the way he always does when he's with Ben. He had no idea it could be like this, heavy metallic heat spreading through him from some deep well inside him and into every part of him until it's almost too much. 

Ben moans and shudders beneath him and Callum uses his own cum to stroke him fast, his thumb bumping over the ridge at the head of his dick, he watches his face, he's so beautiful when he comes. He holds himself so rigidly normally, his face set so as not to give too much away but there are times when he softens and this is the ultimate. His face is blush pink and his mouth is parted and shining, his blue eyes sparkling and he gasps and smiles that sweet crooked smile as he starts to come down. Callum is glad he doesn't know how beautiful he looks because he'd only get self conscious. 

Callum sinks into the mattress and drags Ben along with him until he's resting on his chest. He trembles for a few minutes after he comes and Callum likes to stroke his back and his hair to soothe him. He did that, he made a mess out of Ben. 

Callum hears Lexi’s voice from somewhere in the house. "Do you need to get going?”

Ben nods, “Yeah, I’ve got her this afternoon.” 

“I’m sorry, Ben, I didn’t realise--”

Ben hauls himself up then looks down at Callum with a soft smile. “Don’t be daft.” He strokes Callum’s face. “Look at you." 

"What?"

Ben kisses his forehead and then throws himself out of bed and puts on his glasses. Callum wants to freeze time and live forever in this moment of Ben naked and beautiful and so unaware of it in his glasses in the morning light. 

Ben cleans himself off with a t-shirt on the floor then chucks it to Callum. "Sorry, that's probably really gross."

"Kinda, yeah," Callum laughs. 

Ben stretches and makes a show of bending over to search his drawers for a pair of boxers. 

"Can't take your eyes off me, ey?" 

"No point in me denying it, is there?"

Ben slips on his underwear and pulls on black jeans and finds a long sleeve t-shirt that sits perfectly over his shoulders and his tummy. He collects up Callum’s clothes for him minus his shirt which he drops into his own wash basket; it’s a small gesture but the thought of Ben washing his shirt for him along with his own makes his skin tingle with warmth. Ben watches Callum get dressed, he barely even blinks.

"I don't think I've got any shirts that'll fit you, maybe one, but I've been sleeping in it."

"That's alright." 

He roots out an oversized faded band tee from a pile of clothes. Callum slips it on and it fits well enough. It smells like Ben, really strongly like him, actually. Even though he's right there in front of him, Callum still swoons slightly. 

"Fuck, that's a good look on you."

"What is?"

Ben walks over and traces the line of skin showing between the end of the shirt and Callum's jeans. He yanks his jeans up and Ben pouts. 

"You're no fun."

"Hmm I've seen enough evidence to know you don't really think that."

Callum leans in and kisses Ben slow and soft until, as always, it's Callum stomach that interrupts with a loud grumble. 

"So, breakfast?" Ben asks, eyes glinting. 

Callum nods and Ben takes his hand to lead the way.

Callum checks his phone and sees a text from Stuart, _Got up early n cleared stuff out like I said I would. Sorry its taken awhile._ He texts back a quick _thank you_ and _see you later_ and follows Ben into the cafe.

Ben's demeanour shifts in an instant when they get inside, he moves out of Callum's space and he turns cold, shoulders up, neck stiff. 

"Alright?" A man calls over and Ben ignores him until he's gotten close enough to whisper. 

Callum hangs back but he catches Ben asking him what he's doing here. 

"He never was a morning person," the man yells over Ben's shoulder and Callum walks over to them.

"This is my business associate, Tubbs."

"Callum," he extends a hand and Tubbs takes it with a tight smile. 

"Nice to meet ya. This the bloke, then?" Ben doesn't respond. "He's been a nightmare lately, can't stop smiling. Ain't good in our line of work but I guess you ain't really to blame."

Ben rolls his eyes and elbows Tubbs who shoves him back. So they're friends. 

"It ain't none of your business," Ben snaps. 

"I hope I'm the bloke," Callum berates himself but Tubbs just laughs and rubs Callum's arm which he recognises as a tactic. There doesn’t seem to be anything malicious beneath it but it feels like a ploy to stop him asking questions. Kill 'em with kindness. 

"Each to their own, mate," he says to Callum whilst eyeing Ben with a look of disdain.

"Piss off, Tubbs."

"Nah, think I'll have me bacon sarnie instead if that's alright with you." He plonks back in his seat and slurps his coffee. "Nice to meet, ya, _He's So Tall I Just Wanna_ \--"

"Don't!" Ben yells and pushes Callum back towards the till and glares at Tubbs who breaks out into a huge grin. "He needs to learn some respect," Ben growls.

"He's just joking, I ain't thinking anything."

It's a lie, Callum bristles at the thought of what _our line of work_ could possibly mean.

"What d'you want? We'll get it to go." He turns to Marie, "Black coffee and a muffin."

Callum lifts a hand to rub Ben's back but thinks better of it. "Latte and errm.."

"Latte with chocolate on top and an iced bun, cheers, Marie." 

Callum bites back a smile and all he wants to do right now is touch Ben but he’s shut down, here and not here. Callum can handle it, it’s worth it for the times when he opens up but the heat of the cafe starts to feel oppressive as they wait, standing under Tubbs’ presence even though when Callum turns to him, he sees him looking down at a newspaper, clearly disinterested in them. 

Ben grabs their order when it’s ready and strides outside with Callum close behind. 

“It’s a nice day, innit? Considering we’re halfway through October. Park?”

“Yeah,” Callum takes the paper bag containing their food from the crook of Ben’s arm and walks with him in silence until they reach their park bench and both sit up on the table part with their feet on the seat.

“It’s still wet from the rain last night, I probably should’ve thought of that.”

“Don’t matter. It’s only damp anyway.” Ben takes the lid off his coffee and blows on it. His shoulders start to fall again. “What’s your line for work? You and Tubbs?”

“This and that. Known him years. He’s capable.”

It hurts every time Ben talks about his work like this, like he thinks Callum is naive or he's only willing to be honest to an extent and nothing more. Thing is, Callum may never have done the things Ben’s done but he knows what it’s like to have a battle worn soul.

He changes his tack. “Yous two seemed close.”

“Nah. You can know someone years and not know much about ‘em, but look who I’m telling. Shit, sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know." Callum rubs circles into Ben’s back and he exhales a long, deep sigh. “So... D’you go on many night drives?”

“Yeah, it’s relaxing, just driving around. Better than sitting about moping, innit?”

“I felt like I’d been asleep ages when you woke me up.”

“Ah.” Ben takes a sip of his drink and sits up straight so Callum has to move his hand away. “I… I know you said you wanted to go home but I saw you’d fallen asleep and I went on a little detour. I figured you needed the sleep or, I guess I didn’t have the heart to wake you up so I drove around a bit.”

That was unexpected to say the least. Callum was going to say it felt like he’d been asleep ages because he was so tired after what they’d got up to in the carpark. “Oh. Thank you, that's really--”

“Gimme my muffin,” Ben says, changing the subject. Callum hands Ben the paper bag. “You know what, actually, let me have a bite of your bun.”

Ben manages to take half the bun in his mouth in one bite and Callum watches, incredulous. “Did you just say _let me have a bite of your bun_ and not even try to make an innuendo out of it?”

“I’m just hungry, I swear, I’m still me!” Ben says with a mouth full of food, his hands held up in surrender. He swallows hard, grabs a fistful of Callum’s shirt and kisses him all sugary sweet.

They pass the time quietly, sharing food and finishing their drinks until Ben checks his watch and his face lights up, “I’ve gotta go get Lex soon.”

Callum smiles, he loves the way Ben glows when he’s with Lexi, even when he's just thinking about her. They walk back to the Square and part ways with a final kiss and a promise from Ben that he’ll text before tonight. Callum watches him go and hesitates for a moment after he disappears out of sight.

Earlier in the week, Stuart offered to swap rooms with him and from his text earlier he can assume that it's happened, the big room is his again.

He's relieved when he gets home to an empty flat. He knows it can't be easy for Stuart not having Rainie home and he doesn't want to rub in his excitement at finally being able to invite Ben back to his.

He starts by opening the windows wide and then vacuums and dusts and puts away his clothes. He slides the box that contains Chris’s letters and beret into the bottom of the wardrobe but immediately feels bereft at them being out of sight. He lifts the box out and sits down on the edge of the unmade bed and does something he’s done a thousand times, runs his thumb over Chris’s name tag on the rim of his hat. 

“Hey,” he whispers, “miss you.”

He sits for a long time before he puts the box away, kissing his fingers before pressing the kiss against the lid. 

He changes the sheets next, grey floral that he bought with Ben in mind, and takes his time arranging the cushions so it looks cosy and inviting. Then he puts out his few possessions again, his alarm clock, a dog-eared copy of NME with Bowie on the cover and his book of football stats that quiets down his head. 

He puts out the footy trophy he won a good few years back that Stuart kept for him while he was away and that’s it. Perfect. His.

There’s still hours until his date tonight with Ben but he’s buzzing.

When he pictures it in his head he realises he's just imagining the two of them on an empty dance floor that feels the exact opposite of empty and Ben, with his arms around his waist, and his leather jacket on even though it should surely be too hot for it. And the lights are neon and Ben’s eyes shine the way they do even in the dark and he's happy; the kind of happy Ben is only in his dreams, happy like he doesn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

He takes a long shower and looks in the bathroom mirror after and decides to leave his face unshaven because he knows he likes the way his face smarts after he kisses Ben and maybe Ben’s the same. He strokes his hand over his chin and shudders, he loves the burn and the rough scrape when they kiss, especially when they kiss hard. He loves the push and pull, strong hands, whiskey breath. His whole body feels glorious like Ben came in and cut the armour away and he's feeling the air on his skin for the first time. 

Back in his room, he smooths out the duvet even though it’s perfect and is struck by the image of Ben laid out on these sheets, all his, having chosen to stay, not just letting Callum sleep over because he’s too tired to protest but actually deciding to spend the night. 

He closes his eyes and whispers Ben’s words aloud into the empty room, _just start enjoying yourself_ and when he opens his eyes he is relieved to see that everything is as it was. Ben was right. The world isn’t going to end just because he’s doing what he wants to do, for once. He picks up Ben’s band tee again and breathes it in, no way is Ben getting this back. 

Callum takes one final deep breath and pauses to look over his work. His room; a place for him and for them. 

He's finally found someone to play with, to fall with, to rest with, to enjoy himself with. 

He can't wait for tonight. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I love Callum with my whole heart and this came to me so I decided to go for it. It comes way more naturally to me to write from Ben's pov, maybe because it means I get to swoon over Callum, but hopefully this was enjoyable!
> 
> Chapter 6 of i was just trying to survive the night is coming next week and some utter filth featuring horny solo Callum is coming tomorrow (Saturday) as a standalone oneshot...


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